i can't believe i'm having another surgery in less than a week. i guess it's coming at the right time since my knee is totally acting up again. similar to that intense burning pain i got a few months ago when i could barely walk. it's not as bad as last time, but it's burning and i'm semi-limping around.

i'm not ready to be immobile again, i'm not ready to go through rehab again, i'm not ready to to get poked by more needles, the list goes on and on. i'm the most scared i've ever been before any of my surgeries, my biggest fear being having to endure all this pain & suffering only to experience another unsuccessful surgery, especially since my doctor doesn't even know if re-doing my ACL will fix my problems. it's so hard to fight feelings of doubt, disappointment, discouragement, and asking God why. just the thought of my knee and this surgery sends me into tears.

and then... God always gives me a little bit of perspective. there are people - people who i even know & love - who are suffering a lot more than i am. if anything, from my own personal experience, i know how important it is to have people persistent in praying. i'm praying for them... as many of you have been for me.