please don't ask

it's pretty amazing, a common question that i've been getting from various people is, "is this your last surgery?" i know they're just trying to make conversation with me... but what kind of question is that? every surgery was supposed to be my last surgery. you think i want more? i don't even know how to answer it: "no, in fact, i'm going to have another five knee surgeries."

i also hate the "how's your knee?" when people ask me in passing. how do i answer in the two seconds i'm given? i'd rather people not ask me when they're not really looking for an answer. i'm probably just being overly sensitive... don't get me wrong, i appreciate it when people ask and really care for an answer. it's those who just ask it in passing and aren't really looking for an answer that bother me. i've put up with three years of it. just say hi to me next time instead.

i'm already starting to have uneasy feelings about my knee, like how my kneecap is definitely locking like before and various other things. and i'm really, really itching to get off these damn crutches and start walking. honestly, more than a month post-surgery, i thought my knee would be a lot further along than it is, but maybe it's because i've been confined to these metal sticks and haven't started pt yet.

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i'm ready to find the holy spirit party. this is tougher than i imagined, and i have a long road ahead still. praying for revelation from God. learning how to listen for God speaking to me. lesson learned from tonight. :)

lots of talk about church(es) recently. maybe i need to move out of the bay area for a while... :)